5.24.13Graduating high school is an incredible rite of passage, a marker on your journey of development that signals that you are casting off the last vestiges of childhood and beginning to step out on your own into adulthood. This transition from childhood to adulthood is not automatic. You don’t naturally begin to act like an adult when you turn 18, or 21, or 30. (That’s why you see some 35-year-olds with the maturity of a 16-year-old).

Above all, adulthood is a choice. You’ll start acting like an adult when you choose to do so. As the apostle Paul so aptly put it, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:12). To fully transition from childhood to adulthood, here are five transitions you’ll need to make, the transitions from:

1. Decisions based on wants to decisions based on wisdom. As a child, you make decisions based on what you want, nothing more. As adult, you’ll realize that sometimes what you want isn’t the best thing for you. True adults make decisions based on wisdom, not just wants.

2. Serving yourself to serving others. You’re born with an innate pull to serve yourself. You didn’t have to do anything to cultivate it. As an adult, you’ll take up the battle with your own selfishness and look to serve others, not just yourself. If you want any chance at being a good spouse and parent, you have to win this battle.

3. Externally motivated to internally motivated. Up to now you’ve had your parents holding your hand, telling you what to do. You’ve had teachers to poke and prod you to learn. As an adult, that fire has to come from within. You’ll find the people interested in your development drop off dramatically. You need to cultivate an inner motivation to learn and grow and achieve, because no one else will do it for you.

4. Living for the moment to living for a legacy. Life as a child is all about the moment: the next show, the next game, the next weekend. As an adult, you will care not just about the moment, but about leaving a legacy that will endure long after you’re gone. If you truly live for a legacy, it will change everything about how you make decisions.

5. A life of pleasure to a life of purpose. If you settle for it, this life will medicate you with low doses of pleasure that will numb you through the greatest years of your life. If you live life only to have fun, then you’re still a child. Adults desire to live a life of purpose. That’s what drives our willingness to work hard and sacrifice. Be a part of something greater than yourself.

Congratulations on transitioning from high school to college. May you make the transition from childhood to adulthood as well.

QUESTION: What other advice would you give graduating seniors?

image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

5.23.13Recently my town suffered a devastating loss as two young boys were killed in a tragic ATV accident. North of us friends and families in Oklahoma are walking through the utter devastation of an F-5 tornado. For those of you with kids, I know many of them might be asking difficult questions: Why did they have to die? Are they in heaven? Why did God let this happen?
As a parent and as a Christian, there is simply no easy way to answer these questions. As you talk with your children about these tragic incidents, here are a few helpful things to remember:
  • Be authentic. If you’re struggling with this tragic event, let them know it. Don’t feel like you have to have it all together for their sake. Some events are simply too overwhelming to handle easily.
  • Don’t try and give a pat answer. This isn’t the time to recite a trite Bible verse and be done with it. Acknowledge the pain of the loss.
  • Remember that we live in a broken world where tragedies happen. Unfortunately, this won’t be the last time your child encounters tragedy. This is one of the unfortunate effects of sin in the world.
  • Reaffirm that God is in control. We may never know why this happened, but that doesn’t change that God is ultimately in control. His ways are higher than ours. We may not understand it or like it at times, but God is still in control of everything that happens.
  • The eternal salvation of those lost are in God’s hands, not ours. The question many of your older children will ask is, “Are they in heaven?” The short answer is, “We don’t know.” That’s between them and God.
  • Pray. Spend time praying for the affected families and those left behind. Pray with your children for them.
  • Support the families. Long after our attention moves onto something else, the affected families will still bear the scars of this tragic event. For those that personally know them, support them. Be there for them. Healing from this event will take years, not months.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAGrowing up Baptist, I was entranced by the abundance of committees that seemed to cover every facet of church life. A committee for flowers? Check. A hostess committee? Check. (Only later did I realize that this committee had nothing to do with a favorite brand of comfort foods). But one committee always intrigued me with its deeply authoritative and far-reaching title: the committee on committees.

This was the pinnacle. This was the magical smoke-filled back room committee where the real power was exerted. Who wanted to be on something lame like the properties committee when you could be on the committee on committees? This committee was the supreme power, the Council of Elrond of Baptist churches.

As I grew a little older, my typical male aspirations of world domination played itself out in my Baptist world, and I created a new, fictitious, uber-powerful committee that would rule all committees: the Committee on Committee on Committees. This highly secretive committee would wield uncontrolled power to install puppet committees throughout the church.

Growing up in a typical Baptist church, here are some of the new committees that the Committee on Committee on Committees would install:

  • The Surly Greeter Committee – This committee would ensure that the meanest, poutiest, surliest members (and oldest, preferably) would greet at the front doors. They would set an acceptably dour mood for the service.
  • The Pew Kicker Committee – This committee would deputize one angry couple a week to go throughout the sanctuary and kick guests out of their seats, claiming that they were sitting in their row. They would ensure that the pecking order of seniority remained intact.
  • The Temperature Complaining Committee – This committee would be made exclusively of senior ladies who would be strategically placed throughout the sanctuary to loudly complain that the temperature was too cold (no matter what the actual temperature).
  • The Baby Screaming Committee – This committee would commission new moms to keep their babies out of the nursery and bring them into the service, preferably fussy. These moms would assume that everyone would love to watch and hear this new, screaming bundle of joy for an hour.
  • The Sleeping Choir Member Committee – This committee would enlist at least one choir member per service to fall asleep (noticeably) during the pastor’s sermon. The closer they sat directly behind the pastor, the better.
  • The Clothing Diva Committee – This committee would be an added bonus to the Baptist church. This committee would be formed exclusively of median aged wives and moms who think each Sunday service is an opportunity to dress for the Kentucky Derby. Their over-the-top and look-at-me outfits would ensure that people have someone to talk about at lunch.

QUESTION: What new committees would you install for the typical church?

Several weeks ago Mt Vernon hosted its second annual Joy Prom for the special needs community. Here’s the highlight video. Use it as a way to start your weekend on the right note!

5.15.13If you’re looking for a solid left hook to the solar plexus, read Missional Renaissance by Reggie McNeal. His thoughts are piercing, unsettling, and full of truth. If you’ve ever thought that ‘church as usual’ wasn’t working but you couldn’t put it into words, McNeal will give you the words.

I’ve heard about the ‘missional’ movement for years but have resisted it, mostly because I could never quite figure out what ‘missional’ was. People would ask, “Is your church missional?”, but they forgot to tell me what the code word ‘missional’ meant. It’s as if I needed to join the club first before I could find out what I was joining. No thanks.

Reggie McNeal does a tremendous job putting flesh and bones on the whole idea of ‘missional.’ He defines it as “a way of living, not an affiliation or activity.” It’s not another program to add to your retinue. In fact, it’s a reaction against the over-programming of the church. To become ‘missional’ you need to embrace three shifts in your thinking and in your behavior:

  1. From internal to external in terms of ministry focus.
  2. From program development to people development in terms of core activity.
  3. From church-based to kingdom-based in terms of leadership agenda.

The rest of the book fleshes out this outline, giving great examples and ideas in each area. Perhaps the greatest asset of the book are the three chapters he gives under each section titled, “Changing the Ministry Scorecard.” In these chapters he gets extremely practical. More than just throwing some great ideas at you and forcing you to handle the implementation alone, he gives the reader a clear picture of what a missional scorecard looks like.

McNeal challenges the very concept of church itself, stating “Missional followers of Jesus don’t belong to a church. They are the church. Wherever they are, the church is present” (19). He does a good job looking back through history to see where our view of church became skewed from people to a building. Throughout the book, he challenges the idea of church merely being a religious vendor of services and goods. Rather, he aims to recapture the first century ethos of what the church is. What is the biblical ethos of the church? Not to be a religious destination for the already saved, but to be a catalyst of change to better the world. As McNeal puts it, “The role of the church is simply this: to bless the world. In doing this, the people of God reveal God’s heart for the world” (46).

Embracing this mindset will force church members outside of the four walls of the building they refer to as church, which is exactly what McNeal intends. Many see this as an either/or against the attractional model of church. McNeal disputes that, stating “not all expressions of attractional church are bad. It’s a mistake to think so–and an instance of either-or thinking. Even Jesus in his Incarnation was an attraction himself. The real issues is about DNA” (50).

For McNeal, the antithesis of a missional church is a program-driven church. When he spoke on this, my heart leapt, because I’ve worked at program-driven churches before. A program-driven church exists to keep the calendar full, to gather Christians together in a safe environment and allow them to exercise societal activities without the nuisance of unsaved pagans being around. As he aptly puts it, “The program-driven church has created an artificial environment divorced from the rhythms and realities of normal life” (93). The result? “In this way, the church effectively becomes a desalinization plant, sucking salt out of the community” (54). Ouch. Painful, but true.

How does the missional church differ from this mindset? “The missional church assumes that service to others is the first step, not some later expression of spirituality” (105). With that, he makes a hard push for churches to get outside and begin serving their community. All in all, a challenging read, but well worth it.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. What makes the book so uncomfortable to read is that he so bluntly and so accurately describes a majority of churches in my denomination. As a Southern Baptist, he knows the typical SBC church. His portrayal of it is dead on. Many know it (or at least feel it), but he takes it a step further and actually says it.

2. Something has to change in the current church culture. If we can’t agree on that, we can’t agree on anything. We are losing ground in our culture. We’re losing the next generation. What we’re doing isn’t working. Missional Renaissance is a good place to start.

3. Deep & Wide and Missional Renaissance don’t have to oppose each other. A previously reviewed book, Deep & Wide, speaks to issues of the church. While some may call Andy Stanley’s Northpoint Church a purely attractional model, it would be a mistake to do so. Here’s how I reconcile the two works: Missional Renaissance talks about a mindset shift for the church in general. Deep & Wide gives a great example of what a ‘missional’ weekend worship experience looks like. It’s not enough just to serve in the community. When the lost come to church programs, they need to see a missional experience within the four walls of the church building as well. The two books complement each other.

4. When Helping Hurts is a great caveat to McNeal’s push to get the church serving in the community. McNeal makes a strong push for the church to move from program-minded to service-minded. When Helping Hurts (another great book) helps churches serve others in a way that benefits them, not harm them.

5. While not using much of McNeal’s terminology, Mt Vernon Church has been implementing many of his ideas for the past decade. We’ve made the transition from a program-heavy church. We’ve simplified our events, moving from an internal to external mindset. While we’re not there, we see God’s hand of blessing on the steps we’ve already taken.

Full color - gray textLast Friday’s Chick-fil-A Leadercast was an incredible experience! Listening to leaders such as Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice and Mike Krzyzewksi filled up my leadership cup to overflowing. Another great blogger Brian Dodd has shared even more quotes from each of the speakers. Here are seven great quotes from the Leadercast Friday:

1. “Growth creates complexity, which requires simplicity.” Andy Stanley shared a great reminder that in the midst of the complexity that comes with success, we need to continuously seek the simplicity that made us successful. More quotes from his talk here.

2. “You don’t need more time, you need more space.” David Allen had great insight into the truth that as much as we wish for more time in the week, that’s not our greatest need. Proper perspective and engagement with our time is what’s most important. More quotes from his talk here.

3. “If everything is important, nothing is important.” Henry Cloud shared the absolute importance of focus, prioritizing, and pruning to achieve mastery in your field. More quotes from his talk here.

4. “Leaders create an environment conducive to success.” Mike Krzyzewski shared his story of coaching the gold medal winning Olympic basketball team, and how many overlooked intangibles contribute to success. More quotes from his talk here.

5. “Simply leading in a complex world is recognizing the one thing you can do to improve the situation.” Faced with sometimes impossible diplomatic crises, Condoleezza Rice shared her outlook that enabled her to be an incredible Secretary of State. More quotes from her talk here.

6. “70% of my time was teaching moment.  The team that fields the best players wins.” Jack Welch shared just how important coaching and developing his staff was to the success of his organization. More quotes from his talk here.

7. “Panic is contagious.  Stupid is 100% contagious.” LCDR Rorke Denver shared how he kept his calm through some of the world’s toughest environments: Navy SEALS training. More quotes from his talk here.

Go ahead and mark your calendars for May 9, 2014 for the next Chick-fil-a Leadercast!

5.8.13There’s an incredible quote I want to share from Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-a. But first let me give you the back story. As Andy Stanley tells it, in the 1990s there was a company called Boston Chicken, which ended up becoming Boston Market. This was Chick-fil-a’s first direct competitor, another major brand of a chicken-sandwiches-only restaurant.

Boston Market had huge expansion plans, with the goal of having $1 billion in sales by the year 2000. They were fast-expanding and aggressive. Naturally, the executives at Chick-fil-a were nervous about the new threat, a direct competitor in their market space. Conversations began around this threat, and Chick-fil-a’s initial response was centered on how to grow bigger, how to grow faster to compete with Boston Market.

The whole thing culminated in a board room at Chick-fil-a headquarters, with all the VPs and Marketing people trying to figure out how to get bigger, faster. At the head of the table was Truett Cathy, quiet and seemingly disengaged from the whole conversation. Then out of the blue, Truett Cathy began banging his fists on the table until he had everyone’s attention. What he said next is the point of this whole post.

Cathy said, “Gentlemen, I am sick and tired of hearing you talk about us getting bigger. What we need to be talking about is how to get better. If we get better, our customers will demand that we get bigger.” That statement changed the whole course of the conversation at Chick-fil-a headquarters. The result? In the year 2000 (when Boston Market wanted to reach $1 billion in sales), Boston Market filed for bankruptcy, and Chick-fil-a reached $1 billion in sales for the first time.

Why? Because Boston Market focused on getting bigger, while Chick-fil-a focused on getting better. Better before bigger.

Where in your life, in your business, are you tempted to focus on bigger before better? If you focus on making it better, it will naturally become bigger.

If you enjoyed this nugget of truth, then you experienced a taste of what the Chick-fil-a Leadercast will be like this Friday. Andy Stanley will be one of the headline speakers. If you can attend, you’ll be glad you did! Find a location here.